Chasing Dreams 19 - FINAL CHAPTER
My love, leave yourself behind,
Beat inside me, leave you blind.
My love, you have found peace.
You were searching for relief.

You gave it all,
Gave into the call.
You took a chance and
You took a fall for us.

You came thoughtfully,
Loved me faithfully
You taught me honor,
You did it for me.

Today you will sleep away
You will wait for me, my love

Now I am strong (now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had, and now I am whole.

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind.
My love, look what you can do.
I am mending, I'll be with you.

You took my hand, added a plan,
You gave me your heart.
I asked you to dance with me.

You loved honestly,
Gave what you could release.
Ah oh.

I know in peace you'll go.
I hope relief is yours.

Now I am strong (now I am strong).
You gave me all.
You gave all you had, and now I am whole.

My love beat inside me
My love

My love, leave yourself behind,
Beat inside me, I'll be with you.

Oh oh
Du du du oh

              SONG:  MY LOVE by Sia
              FINAL CHAPTER

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The Stranger That Owns Me - 03


“I will never fall in love with a sly like you.”  Jonathan said.  Sitting presumptuously on the couch of the newly acquired suite which he has to share with Stella Gonzales.

Jonathan Baron.  Age, 25.  Structural engineer.  Youngest chairman of one of the biggest  company in the construction industry.  He succeeded the position as the only son of the Don Martin Baron.  Called a fox in the industry.  No good projects have slipped from his trap.

“Is that a challenge?” She said while looking around the room.

Stella Gonzales.  24. She moved out of her mom’s house at a young age of 15 and worked her way up to being an architect despite of being the daughter of the most exquisite design company, Carolina Gonzales.  Stella was a clever person who is not afraid of going into extra mile to prove her point.

They are each others own. Fiancés.  Agreed to be married by their parents.

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The Stranger That Owns Me - 02

New York is not the place I had in mind when he said he is bringing me with him.  Coming from a country town, this is the least place that I expected to be.  I don’t want to be near a busy and crowded place.

One presidential suite with two bedroom in a baroque style.

I calm at the thought of sleeping in one room with a man, a stranger for me at least.

“How much does this suite cost you?” I asked curiously as I look up to the details of the columns.

“Like those things bothers you?”  He ask back.  Taking off his black leather jacket and throw it on the couch.

“Are you rich?  You can afford this much?”  I didn’t mind what he just said.  This is one of a kind hotel.  I can’t take my eyes off the beautiful and complex designs of each corner of the room.

“The artist in you will never let this off the hook. Right?” He said.  Smiling as he push open one of the room.

The artist in me?

“Did you just smile?” I ask.  Trying to make him more comfortable so he will took that grumpy face he always wear.

“I’ll use this room, you can use the other one.  What do you want to have for dinner?” He ask before standing at the doorway.

“Burger and fries will do.” I answered bluntly.

“What?  Did I hear that correctly?” Sounded cranky.

“Yes…that’s what I said.  You can have anything you want, but I’m okay with that.” I explain.

He walk toward me and look me in the eyes.

“What?  Did I say something wrong?” I asks.

His hand reach my cheek and I flinch.  He sigh in defeat and pull back his hand.  He turn around.

“Go ahead, order your food.  I’m not hungry anymore.”  Then he left and close the door.

I was left wondering again what I said that take his mood off.

Well maybe he is just really tired.

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The Stranger That Owns Me
I was holding a card I borrowed from a friend.  That card has the alphanumeric code on a certain app that I was trying to crack.  As I turned the card, a picture of a guy is pasted in there.  I look at it…I was wondering who that guy was.  I know I've seen that face before but not sure and I'm not really that interested to begin with, then something fall from between.  I picked it up, it was a small note.  My eyes went to and fro from the picture and the note when...

"Why do you have that?"

Startled?  That was an understatement.  Imagine a wish puffing up in front of you.  Not that I wish for it but I was afraid at that time when I saw his face.

The look in his eyes is not amusement, something like...hatred...rage...

Moreover, his name is at the tip of my lips suddenly...

"Jonathan Baron." I utter out of nowhere.

"And you? Do you need me that badly?" He responded, sounds pissed.  Like I owe him some arrears.

"No.  You're see,'s not mine."  I explain.  But his expression change from pissed to impatient.

" really know how to mess my life."

"What are you saying?  I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Finish that.  I'll be outside."  He said eyeing the app on my laptop and left.

Outside?  He's waiting for me?  Why?

Puzzled, I unfold the note. 
   Please remember.  Stelle314@g.c.

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This is weird...whenever I hear this song, my heart beats faster, chills down my spine and I don't know what feeling is this.  The songs by the way is "Myself" "Eternal Snow" "Love Chronicle" in the Fullmoon Wo Sagashite anime.

Or maybe it's the one shot manga I was reading by the creater of Akatsuki No Yona, "Kuroorihime To Kawaki No Ou".

The characters here looks exactly like Hak and Yona except for their attitude.

But I like Hak, or King Azurite in this case.

The look...height plus the piercing eyes.'s KUSANAI MIZUHO...check out her works!

Love it!

I use the pen name kaz_ely as a devotion to kame as one hyphen.  I was one of the people that thinks I can do what I want in here since no one knows.  I can write anything and say anything because I was looking for that something.  I want to experience that feeling of being in love once again.

Thinking it's okay since it's just a white lie, led me to lying.  I thought I was looking for someone to accept me and the longing to belong is strong.  But what I didn't realize that it was me who do not accept who I am.

I am a Christian, or so I thought I was.  Since I grew up in the church.

When I was 12, I thought, "What if a person did not commit a grave sin, does he or she still needs to accept Jesus?" This was my thought as i assess myself 'cause I thought sin are only those that murder, lie, commits adultery.

Then my fall came when I was 23.  I saw how dirty sin was.  My friends left me, the people in the church hated me and treat me as one leprous person.  I left with scars and hatred in my heart.

I started to drink, to smoke and I was not a good person, in thoughts and words.  I was the worst that time.

Then God sent an old high school classmate.  I never knew she was a Christian.  She then invited me in their church which I accepted.  I think it's almost 3 years of not going to church that time.

I went to the altar call and ask God forgiveness.  But it did not stop there.  For almost 4 years I was in and out of the church I was consistent in my inconsistency year after year.

One day, I felt that there is something I need to do.  There is something I need to hear.  And I was directed to the morning prayer.  I attended one time and God spoke to me that day.  That's the first time I heard that God has a great plan for my future.

I attended encounter.  I was on fire.  But it didn't last.  My floating christianity comes again.
I experience dreaming demons every time I close my eyes and even sees vision of them creeping from the walls of my room through the ceiling. It was only now that I realize that the only reason I was attending is because there is something I want the Lord to do for me. When everything in mylife became a mess again, I started seeking the God again.  I connect to my previous leaders and they ask me to be on encounter again.

July 27, 2013, I met the Jesus of the bible.  I saw how good He was and how holy he was.  Then I saw myself, full of sins. Everything that he is not.

One thing I know that night, that God loves me.

That time and even now, I still don't understand how God can love me, how can he love human.  As I seek Him everyday through bible reading and prayer, he reveals his heart to me.

I found out that he wants to bless man,  That He has a great plan for our future, and that is to be with Him.

That love that I was searching, I found in Him.

I found out I was created in God's image, and God's image isn't average.

I found out that even in this life I can be thankful and happy and praise Him for He is my greatest reward.

I found out that knowing Him is the greatest thing i have ever found out.

I found out that being a Christian means being born again in the Spirit.

I found out I can't understand these things before because my spirit is not yet alive in him before.

I found out I belong to God.

I found out that these and many other things about Jesus will only be revealed if He is my Lord.

I found the meaning of Jesus, being my Lord means He rules in my life.

I found out my purpose.

I found out that the greatest privilege man could ever boast about is preaching the gospel of Jesus.

I know that He will reveal more of himself to me in the following years if I will seek Him everyday.

So I share this to you.  I impart the Holy Spirit that moves in me right now to those who will read this.

It's good to know that there is someone who cares and really loves us, and He is rooting for us from heaven.

He is coming soon.  Sooner than before.

One preacher said, "The only time that touches eternity is NOW."

It matters how we live our life everyday.  Is it for Jesus? That's the meaning of walking with Jesus.

But if I say, "I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. - Jeremiah 20:9

When will I Know if It's Love? - PROLOGUE
I love you.

One of the three precious word in the world.

I'm Shana, 15 years old, in my 3rd year of high school.  It's been a month since the class open and I observe that most of my classmates only talks about one thing.  LOVE.

They say how much they love this guy and that one how much she was hurt by that love from her ex-boyfriend.

I am not that interested because I don't feel like I need to be in love now.  I'm only 15 and most of all, how can I know if it's love?

The only love I know is my mama and papa tells me everyday, "I love you."  What's the difference?  How would I know?

When will I know it's love?

2015...New ME.
Konnichi wa!

It's almost 2 years since I've last posted in here.

How are you?

I've decided to stay hiatus for a year last year but then something in me change and I don't want to open this account anymore.

Because I have plenty of time today, (due to my boss' absence since he's still in Au...)  I look on the last entry in here.

The chasing dreams.  I wanted to finish that so badly before that it drains the energy and the zeal to do it anymore.

No matter how much I want to write a happy ending, my heart has stop beating for Kame now.

I remember the time I was head over heels to Kame and how I dedicated my thoughts on thinking about Him to the point of dreaming of ...Jin?  Hahahaha

That was the funny part.  But I think I did dream about Kame also.

I wanted to try to write again, but this time, not of Kame anymore.

If there will be someone reading this, well, I don't care I guess.

I remember applying for a job as a writer in one romance novel and got rejected, the next thing I saw in the bookstore the plot I wrote was out with a different names of course.

Well, as I've said,  I don't care.  I just want to do something today.

I miss my friends before and I saw them happy in their pics (with their of course...) but they really are with the person they love and they're happy.

Lai and Ann...I'm happy for you!  Ganbare!

my new years wish...

my new years wish is to see HIM...


(no subject)

LMAO....hahaha...i dont understand what they say but I had a great time watching it...he is insanely handsome and appealing...


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